I decided to sleep early last night so that I would get enough sleep to face the week’s challenges. As my tired body rested on the cozy bed, I thought I would doze off easily. However, my mind had other plans instead and chose not to give in to the cold night. It kept reminding me of the past, which made me very restless. Time had passed so fast and sometimes I feel that I have no control over it anymore. My life is so messed up and I am unsure of where it is leading me now. I was told many times before that if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. Maybe my stubbornness to take the advice then had led me to this uncertain feeling today.......
How is someone to plan his life when the very life of his is so uncertain? For instance, I always wanted to be a pilot but now look at me.... I am an engineer. To be honest, I did priory plan my life to its details. However, none of my plans worked out as planned, though I had put enough effort in trying to make them successful. Well ... the person that I had loved the most and planned to marry had also proven to me that it is impossible to plan life ahead, when she left me for another guy. What am I to do now? I know time is running out fast and I had probably lived half my life without knowing the true purpose of it. My heart started to beat faster as I feared this ultimate truth. Trying to calm myself down for nearly an hour; I still couldn’t answer the numerous questions that were clouding my mind. It felt as though I was staring at reality and was unable to accept it.
It didn't take long that night for my mind to resume its abuse on whatever was left of my faith. Being able to induce a thought that came from a book I had read recently, my mind was nearly able to empower the entire me with its misconceptions. According to the book, god has already preplanned every event that happens in one’s life and even by knowing this truth; one would continue living life as uncertain. If this text is really true then I had certainly somehow got into the wrong books of god and I am now paying the price for it. It is at this point in life that the faith in the self never fails one. More than I had believed God himself, I had always believed in myself first, as it is I for now that I can see and also feel.
If God had preplanned my life to undergo suffering, it’s because he wanted me closer to him and not further from him. A famous saint had constantly requested for god to grant him suffering, so that he could think of the almighty all the time. This is because; it is only when suffering we humans tend to remember our creator. Even having lived life until our last breathe, we would probably never know the actual purpose of our birth. Nevertheless, we could try to plan life to a certain level but it will never be the same as living life for the present with the faith on the self in achieving its birth purpose. Don’t plan life, live life.
How is someone to plan his life when the very life of his is so uncertain? For instance, I always wanted to be a pilot but now look at me.... I am an engineer. To be honest, I did priory plan my life to its details. However, none of my plans worked out as planned, though I had put enough effort in trying to make them successful. Well ... the person that I had loved the most and planned to marry had also proven to me that it is impossible to plan life ahead, when she left me for another guy. What am I to do now? I know time is running out fast and I had probably lived half my life without knowing the true purpose of it. My heart started to beat faster as I feared this ultimate truth. Trying to calm myself down for nearly an hour; I still couldn’t answer the numerous questions that were clouding my mind. It felt as though I was staring at reality and was unable to accept it.
It didn't take long that night for my mind to resume its abuse on whatever was left of my faith. Being able to induce a thought that came from a book I had read recently, my mind was nearly able to empower the entire me with its misconceptions. According to the book, god has already preplanned every event that happens in one’s life and even by knowing this truth; one would continue living life as uncertain. If this text is really true then I had certainly somehow got into the wrong books of god and I am now paying the price for it. It is at this point in life that the faith in the self never fails one. More than I had believed God himself, I had always believed in myself first, as it is I for now that I can see and also feel.
If God had preplanned my life to undergo suffering, it’s because he wanted me closer to him and not further from him. A famous saint had constantly requested for god to grant him suffering, so that he could think of the almighty all the time. This is because; it is only when suffering we humans tend to remember our creator. Even having lived life until our last breathe, we would probably never know the actual purpose of our birth. Nevertheless, we could try to plan life to a certain level but it will never be the same as living life for the present with the faith on the self in achieving its birth purpose. Don’t plan life, live life.
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2 comments:
Wah! Excellent :) Its the truth.
I neva planned and neva wana plan my life cos I couldnt take it if it doesnt work out. I walked blindly thru the path dat brings me to this stage of life. Ill continue to walk on this path as I feel comfortable even if I knew that its not the best for myself.
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