The Meet ....

I want to start this post by saying a big Thank You ….

Thank you for reading all my post till this day; especially those who had never failed to carve their feelings on the walls of this blog. I had always felt that every one of you is connected to me somehow. I might not know you in person nor seen your face before, but I am grateful for the little time that you are spending to read and understand the gist of my writings.

Well … Today, I am going to tell you a story about a boy and a girl. This is not a love story but … At that time the boy had just started university and the girl was still studying in secondary school. He first met her in a temple. She was wearing a white t-shirt with black pants. She was not very tall, had slightly below shoulder length hair and had a very pretty smile. He first saw her through the reflection of a glass. At that point of time, he already started feeling butterflies in his stomach. Well eventually daaa daaa da daaa daa da happened and the next thing they both knew … they were a couple.

I know many of you would feel that at that age, he probably felt puppy love. However, to that boy, the feeling he felt at that time was a feeling he never felt before. Well what can I say … it is purely man’s human nature to induce love to evade loneliness. Though it was not what people call true love, but because of their innocence the love was pure and that made them able to sustain the relationship for 4 years.

Eventually, the guy got heartbroken when the girl decided to leave him after getting the realization of maturity. It was not entirely her fault as how is she to bear him when she could not figure what she truly wanted herself. As usual, the breakup was a difficult period which saw many hurting words and actions being exchanged. Well, you can’t blame the guy for being an ass; as living life with her was his dream and just imagine getting your dreams washed out one morning in a pack train station. I can tell you that the separation hurt him badly because on the night of the break up, he prayed to god never to make them cross paths again forever … hmmm.

Today, six years after the break up … he only thank god for making things better with her in the fifth year after the separation. Being matured adults now, it is not surprising they had managed to put their past behind them and are good friends now. Well, you must be wondering why the hack did I tell you this story … haha. Well, this is the reason why … Recently, they guy ran into some major problems in life and had gone to the extent of just giving up everything … and at that crucial point the girl advised him the below :-

“We always think that the challenges in life that we undergo are sufferings but in truth there are many out there that are suffering even more than you. Some do not have homes, some do not have a nickel to loan, some are handicap and many don’t even have a person that truly loves them like a family. You need to realize this and be grateful to god for this. You had always been strong and you just have to be strong now“

When she told him this, though this was something he knew before, it just created a spark that inspired change in him. God had placed special people that carry special messages to guide us throughout life. The real reason of the meet might never be known now but it will surely benefit you one day. The boy in the story is me and the girl in the story is the person I really hurt two days ago. I am really sorry for that. I feel much better now and I owe this to you.

I really hope readers can share some experiences of similar meets that benefited them later …. Remember sharing is caring … thank you again

Mysterious SHE ...

I had always thought sincerity is all a person looks for in another to commit to the religion of love. However, I think the experiences that I felt in the past eight months or so, had clearly washed out that perception. Partly I blame myself for being the fool to the lies that I was told. The lies were not coming from her only but it was also coming from an unexpected source. A source that you would not imagine that would betray you at a time like this.

We often fall into this trap because we had always trusted this source ever since we were born. Though it had helped us grow in the society, explaining things that were not explainable through visual and audio, but all it was trying to do was to gather vital information that will make you serve the purpose of this birth. If you think I am talking about an actress from the cinema, then I can tell you that she acts pretty well too. She also hides herself in the deepest secrets of the self and uses these secrets to lore you to the repayment of your action.

I felt the saddest moment of my life yesterday, when the girl I thought had always cared for me told me to stop dazing in my dream world. I know from then on, this relationship had nothing left in it but she then came along and reassured me not to give up. The reason I am feeling the pinch in my heart today ... is truly because of her but I really don’t understand why I keep listening to her. It is like an addiction or maybe it is just because of the long relationship we had throughout the years.

Sometimes I feel very deluded and had also started doubting the existence of the objects in front of me. She had made me doubt my eyes and had tried numerously to disown me from my own feelings. I think it is time for me to visit a doctor that can help me differentiate … what is real and what is false. Even then I am sure she will not rest until her cause is met …

Nearly all of us are in this confuse state today because of her … she had also defeated some into their own death … she is no other then Maya or the delusion caused by the mind…she is the catalyst to the recreation of the mind … She will feed on your fear, anger, lust, greed, and ego.. and she will not stop until she make you realize that the real you is not who you think you are …people that befriend her became insane and those who had tamed her became immortal. Anyway take care my friends and remember the past was there to teach us something not to repeat in the future...

Maybe we can share the delusions we had before… and how we overcame it …you never know you might find a solution to some of your questions here today …

Happyness :)

An old friend once told me that life is like a novel. The suspense that lies on the next page is the only thing that keeps us reading on. Hence knowing the future is never possible. We can only hope that things will fall in place but we can never guarantee it will. As I flip the pages of this novel, I notice that life is full of ups and downs. However, ever since knowing the secret of happiness, I am able to maintain a level of happiness though grief on and off keeps visiting back.

It was a few weeks back when I accidentally discovered the secret of happiness. I was about to doze off when suddenly the phone rang … My aunty with a low tone informed us that my uncle had passed away. At first, I was shocked hearing the news of his sudden death. Later I accepted reality as it unfolded in front my eyes. It was at the crematorium when suddenly I felt as if I was touched by the above. Seeing the casket being feed to the blazing fire made me realize that this form of mine is temporary. This realization made me feel as if I had skipped multiple chapters and was reading the final chapter of the novel.

You must be wondering what is being temporary got to do with happiness. Well only by realizing the fact that this very life of ours is temporary, we can choose whether to live life with a smile or continue wasting life being dull. Yes I agree that this is easier said than practiced. Well maybe we can start by differentiating the entities that are temporary and permanent. You would realize that everything that has a shadow is temporary and the only permanent thing is the self or some will call this the soul. The soul is energy and if I remember correctly from the physic lessons which I took way back during my secondary school days, energy can never be created nor destroyed. This theory proofs the permanency of the soul or the self.

Hence, if we make our happiness ride on a temporary creation, we are indirectly setting a time span for that happiness. What is even worse is that the time span that we are setting is unknown to us because of temporary nature. Phew … confusing stuff huh ??? Well in laymen terms, the only way to feel permanent happiness is for happiness to originate from being self contented. If you are contented with yourself, you will not search or place happiness externally. You can be the source of your own happiness and happiness will then solely depend on you.

In short, just imagine if you have seven days to live, will it really matter what people think of you? Who loves you and who doesn’t? Whether you are wealthy or not? Whether he/she had cheated you or not? I can tell you that none of the above matters because dying ends this temporary role of yours instantly. Start living life by the moment and you will find that you look better when you smile ….

Fill me in with your thoughts ….

Distance & Love .....

Well … finally I found some time to write my heart out here again. To those who frequently read my blog will know that I had always written a lot about love. In fact, I wrote about all kinds of love in the past … except the one that I am truly experiencing now.

I am a liar … I admit that … I lied to her that I will never love her again and went away without even calling her like I used too .. But now I am sitting here alone thinking what an idiot I am to let her out of my life. I met her when she was still studying abroad and proposed to her in the second mail I wrote to her. She was amazed with my stupidity and we soon became very close friends. The social network messaging and the late night chats was the place I tried to express my love to her. Those were the start of the best moments of my life. However, I only had about four months to talk to her and convince her of my love, before she returned to her home town.

She had always ask me one thing, what would happen when she returned to her home town ,where she is unable to chat and talk in Skype like before … I told her that I will not be upset and we should live life in the present and not think too much of the future. Well, to tell you the truth, I did not know what to tell her then except to keep calm and act as if I am not worried. Meeting her made me believe in two things, love at first sight and long distance relationships. She is from the same country that I live in but sometimes love is so magical that it tends to travels via the oceans that separate the land and I i guess that is how I fell in love with her …

Well, to tell you the truth, she wouldn’t be pleased to read the above but I can’t help my feelings anymore and I had to tell her this one truth before it is gone unsaid. I even went to the extent of doing all the things she requested me to do before moving into her silence. For example, she told me to find another girl and express my love to her …. She told me to concentrate on my work … she told me not to call her again and she told me not to lie again…. Well I did all the above. I even tried my level best to love another girl, but every time I spoke to that girl, it just reminded me of her being on the other side of the line. It is very difficult to have someone in your heart and love another person in front of you. I can boldly tell you that I might not be able to love anyone as much as I love her.

Well … I know it is really hard to love me back especially when you don’t feel the same way. I understand your feelings, but have you ever thought a guy will love you to this extent. The distance that you thought will break the love further apart had turned to be the fuel that continues to keep this love ignited. Well, distance had never been and will never be the barrier to continue loving someone as much as before. A man only falls in love once, and once he had fallen in love, the physically distance will always brings him closer to his love one. Before I end this post … I would like to ask my readers their opinion on long distance relationship … can it or can’t it succeed? As for me … I will continue waiting for her and hopefully she will realize my love before it is too late ...

I had also inserted this song in Hindi which very well explains distance and love …

Don't Be ......

As rain pours down heavily outside, nowhere to go … like a bird trap in a cage, it is time to dissolve my silence once again. I have been trying to call her for days now… Unfortunately, she had not been picking up any of my calls. It is a very difficult phase for me and my performance at work is being affected by this emotional downturn. It is her voice that I hear before starting my daily work and it is her voice that allows me to close my eyes at night, knowing that she is safe. Today, I don’t think I will ever hear the voice that gave me the strength to move on after being in the dark for a year and a half.

I had made a mistake and I know many of you out there are making the same mistake. The mistake that I had made was not falling in love but it was being overly dependent to the person that I was in love with. Love is a beautiful feeling that often leads one to the path of dependency. In the start, this dependency is not noticed as love tends to blind its worshipers. However, if the relationship turns sour later, the delusion that love created fades and the pain of being dependent is felt. This feeling is really painful as some had even taken their life away after being unable to cope with it.

You probably be thinking that I am a love failure and that is the reason for the above statement. Well, I am not against love but the truth is painful and only the wise will notice it and not allow it to occur to them. Look at yourself; look at the activities you used to carry out before falling in love. I am sure you lived life with your own sets of principles and never needed much help from the people around you to carry out your daily chores or your liked activities. Now compare yourself after falling in love… exactly, see how many things had changed. To sleep, we would need to wait for her or his call. Before dining, we make sure that she or he had eaten or else we won’t eat. If he or she doesn’t want to watch a movie, we will not watch the movie though we had watched every single episode of that movie before falling in love. Some will call this madness, togetherness but I feel that love should never walk on two legs when it can walk on four to maintain its stability. Think about it … hmmm. Mother Theresa said that love starts at home; you got to love yourself before even trying to love someone else; In that way you will never lose yourself in spreading love.

When I started writing this post two weeks ago, I paused after a few lines and only continued writing it today. This is because I wanted to fully feel the pain of being dependent. Trust me; I am not fully cured from it yet. However, I am neither against falling in love. My advice to you reading this is… fall in love but don’t lose your true self in it. Make sure you continue doing everything that benefited you before the relationship; especially prioritizing your family, friends and the people that loved and cared for you from day one. Always remember that everything bounded by time is temporary, hence don’t overly hope or rely for an everlasting relationship.

We had come alone and we will leave alone …. Don't be dependent