Second Chance ......

Well I know I had been missing in action for a while. However, I must say I am glad that all of you are still reading. It is never easy to write a post that satisfies everyone, and what is even harder is to make a decision in life which favors all. Hence, we end up making hasty decisions that lead to mistakes which later becomes the root cause of our unhappiness. Making mistakes is part and puzzle of life. No one was born perfect hence only through mistakes and the right knowledge one can achieve some sort of perfection in life.Mistakes are actually a sign that proofs we are evolving whether for the better or the worse that depends on the situation and the way we approach the consequences of our actions.

It is sad that we failed to understand the importance for one to make mistakes and react by punishing people instead. Sometimes a mistake is rather small but due to uncontrollable emotions at that time, the mistake is often blown out of proportion. This later can lead to a worsen situation where one can lose their jobs, their family, their status in the society and even the love of their life. Well a criminal that had acted against the law deserves to be punished but how are we to punish one for their imperfections, as no man were created perfect in the first place. If only she understood this, my love will still be meaningful to her.

We never were told the future but rather were left to shape it with our believe and trust. Ever since meeting her six months ago, she had become an essential to my living. Her voice is like a mantra that I need to hear each morning so that my heart could feel safe knowing she is safe. Her presence is like having god as my shadow, with the confidence she enable me to create by just being present in my life. Her love is the nectar that all born would seek as it emanates the bliss of unity. She is my angel, god, mother-like, family and the love of my life. I found it impossible to name this relationship as she played multiple roles in my life, hence we were both comfortable leaving it as a no name relationship at the beginning. Ever since meeting her, I felt that god rewarded me for all the good that I have done in my life as I had never felt so happy before and even when I was sad it was never elongated. I was feeling as though I was on cloud 9.

Well people say that problems are like the wind, even if one shuts all the windows it will still find a way in. Well until today she had never told me once also that she loves me. She always wanted me to be her friend as she felt that she was not ready for a relationship. I actually understood how she felt at the beginning and didn’t want to force her into loving me. However, I would remind her of my love every now and then hoping that one day she would see the sincerity in it. Unfortunately, the reminder was always taken in the wrong way and we often fought because of this. She fails to understand that the only reason I keep reminding her of this love is because I am afraid to lose her and I want her to be the one in my life as I know I will be able take care of her like a queen. Well, my hopes of winning her heart were soon to be wracked because of a mistake.

I returned from from Kota Kinabalu with a very bad fever which took four days to completely cure. During this time, I was on very high dosage of medication that made me drowsy. As usual I drank my medicines and was going to bed. Suddenly, I received a sms from her requiring some flight information. Without thinking, I rush to my computer and started chatting with her. After that, all I could remember is that we fought but I don’t remember the reason or the words that I had uttered that night. The next morning, I received a sms from her stating the bad behavior that I had portrayed last night and that she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I tried explaining to her that I had been on medication but that only made her forgive me but not forget the incident. Basically, I am being punished for an unaware action, a mistake. I know it is very hard for her to trust me like before or even accept me like before. However, I would just like to tell her this, the true strength of any relationship is trust, and if trust is lost the relationship automatically dies. A guy can act to be good but he can never act to be sincere because sincerity comes from the heart and one must feel love to be sincere. After promising on my own father and she still could not believe me then I am not sure what else I must do to make her believe me.

Ever since we stop talking three days ago, though alive I feel dead. I am really not sure of my mistakes but if I had hurt her, I just hope she will forgive me and accept me as before …. All my heart needs now is a second chance to undo the mistakes of the past …….If you are reading this and is suffering a similar pain please feel free to share.

Do you think a person should be given a second chance in life after committing a mistake?