Reliving the Past

Though years had passed by, stepping foot on the land I spent most of my childhood revoked a strange feeling. A feeling that I am now finding difficult to describe by mere words. It had been secretly hiding for a very long time at a corner of my heart. I didn't expect this feeling to revisit me now. I have come here to find peace and rethink certain aspects of life. However, this feeling have suddenly intruded all my plans and brought me back to the past.

We can only live an instant of life once. Once it passes us it becomes memories of the past. Though this is the truth of life, I find it very difficult to accept her as just being memories of my past. She is too special to just be the past. It is true what people say; a woman can make or break a man. This is even truer if the woman had been there from day one, knowing almost everything about him and loving him not because of companionship. The love we shared is certainly irreplaceable, as this love was always unconditional. However, my bad fortune in love made me lose her early in life. If only I had her next to me now, I would be able to hug her and tell her how much she actually means to me. Life without her is never the same.

Sometimes when I am hungry, walking alone, upset or happy, I feel a certain presence beside me .I feel as though my hand is being held in guidance. I am sure that it was her trying to make me feel that she has not left me yet. On one side of my mind, I am starting to believe that her love will never fade though we had split up years ago. On the other side of my mind, I am not sure whether I am in denial of the truth that she is gone forever ... That is the reason, sometimes I wish could hear her voice again, to prove my mind's denial theory wrong .... Sigh. I had always wondered why people meet when they were not destined to be together forever....

Well I had figured it all out only today. Everyone coming into our life has a special role to play in shaping the person that we will become. Even if the relationship is for a short period of time, this person will teach us a valuable knowledge that will make us slowly realize our true self. If the person leaves us early, it doesn't mean that we were not destined to be with the person. What this actually means is that their part in this play had just ended. If this person is someone special, then we will need to learn to let go as the person is already living within us, in the knowledge that the person had passed on. My mom had made my life meaningful in many ways. Though today, I don't have her here physically to tell her my love and wish her happy mother's day, I am sure she will want me to learn to let go. This is because, only when we let go of our past, we can move forward to make our life more meaningful.

Before I end this post, I have three important advices for all my readers. These advices were actually learnt from reliving the past for a day or two. The first advice is ... we are all created uniquely ... start appreciating the uniqueness within ourselves because only then we can appreciate this life of ours and further make it meaningful. The second advice is ... if you believe in destiny and you are uncertain of the future with the person that is in love with you ... make the first step of making him or her your destiny by building the bridge toward the other end with unconditional love. Life has always been uncertain but we can make it certain by truly believing in the self or an event to occur. The last advice on this post is ... the greatest gift we can give anyone is love ... we need not buy them the most expensive gifts but all we have to do is to love them unconditionally so that when the last day comes, the relationship that we had with them would be meaningful. Now, I need to end this post here …but remember these advices as we will never be able to relive the past again the same way we did before.

PS: Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there and to everyone who had cared for me like my mother would do. There is no love like a mother’s love but to treat a stranger like your own son and shower him with unconditional love is divine. Thank you