I walked home today thinking of what have i done so wrong in life ?? Was it the believe and service for Him that brought me to this stage of confusion ..... i suddenly felt as though i have been cursed to lose the people that i truly love. I know what your think ....but this is just not another love story.....
I first lost my first love nearly 4 years ago. After being in a relationship for two and a half years, she decided that i was never good enough for her and she left me for a guy who she introduced as her distant brother. Well, i thought my pain would end there, but 2 years later my mom passed away from cancer. I didn't just lose the love of my life, but the next day after the burning ceremony i had to pick her bones with some ashes and place it in a small pot. Picking up the bones of the hand that used to feed me was the most painful feeling i have ever felt in my life.My mom's departure inflicted a great void in my life. I am still suffering from this feeling until today. However this void feeling also allowed me to rebuild myself and it took me around one year to gain my confidence back. It is true what people say, god had made man in a way that he will always love himself more then another. This love for the self and prayers played an important role in me bouncing back.
Since i lost my mom, i had always prayed that i would meet and marry a girl that has nearly all her qualities.My prayers was partial answered .Three months ago,I finally met the girl of my dreams. I used to write to her a lot and later when i got her number i would call her. The beauty in her is that she is always smiling. She is a person that worships her parents and cares a lot for other people's feelings.When someone is as so perfect in front of you, its nearly impossible not to fall in love with her. I was so worried to tell her that i had this special feelings for her. However, i somehow found the guts to speak my heart out.Well as always, when it comes to love ones, the curse seems to revisit me. This is the sad part of the rejection, she had only rejected me due to the cast or different ethnic Indian group factor. She is a malyalee and i am a ceylonese. She said that her parents and relations wouldn't agree to such a marriage.
Why?? Why God your doing this ?? Why did you split the brothers of the same race and believes further a part with such a delusion. You have clearly uttered in the religious Gita text " That your present in all living beings" then why do we still see our own fellow brothers as different. The above text is the gist of the religion but people tend to follow the various culture such as marriage culture, which is valueless without understanding the gist of the religion. Is it important to marry the same cast or ethnic group ?? Can marrying a guy from the same cast or ethnic group ensure the happiness in marriage?? Well, i really don't agree with this cast or ethnic group practice.I feel so sadden with the kind of practice till today. This is because, i know that in the eyes of God we are all equal. If your so conscious of these culture or traditional practices , i suggest maybe it is time for you to take a visit to the crematorium. You would notice that after the cremation, the body that was once a big deal had reduced to just ashes.
I am not going against culture or traditional practices. However, i am asking the readers not to blindly follow things and look at the inner meanings of those practices . Would you prefer marrying your child to the same ethnic Indian group or would you prefer she marrying a sincere guy that would really take care of her ? Ask you self this questions before further blinding the next generation with such a culture or traditional practice.
Well, many of you will probably feel that i am upset with her , well why should i be ? ... I know that it really hurts but think of it this way, she had enlighten me and probably all of you reading regarding the above matter. Life is temporary, you will only meet a few, learn the important things from them, and guide your self back to Him.
God bless you
I first lost my first love nearly 4 years ago. After being in a relationship for two and a half years, she decided that i was never good enough for her and she left me for a guy who she introduced as her distant brother. Well, i thought my pain would end there, but 2 years later my mom passed away from cancer. I didn't just lose the love of my life, but the next day after the burning ceremony i had to pick her bones with some ashes and place it in a small pot. Picking up the bones of the hand that used to feed me was the most painful feeling i have ever felt in my life.My mom's departure inflicted a great void in my life. I am still suffering from this feeling until today. However this void feeling also allowed me to rebuild myself and it took me around one year to gain my confidence back. It is true what people say, god had made man in a way that he will always love himself more then another. This love for the self and prayers played an important role in me bouncing back.
Since i lost my mom, i had always prayed that i would meet and marry a girl that has nearly all her qualities.My prayers was partial answered .Three months ago,I finally met the girl of my dreams. I used to write to her a lot and later when i got her number i would call her. The beauty in her is that she is always smiling. She is a person that worships her parents and cares a lot for other people's feelings.When someone is as so perfect in front of you, its nearly impossible not to fall in love with her. I was so worried to tell her that i had this special feelings for her. However, i somehow found the guts to speak my heart out.Well as always, when it comes to love ones, the curse seems to revisit me. This is the sad part of the rejection, she had only rejected me due to the cast or different ethnic Indian group factor. She is a malyalee and i am a ceylonese. She said that her parents and relations wouldn't agree to such a marriage.
Why?? Why God your doing this ?? Why did you split the brothers of the same race and believes further a part with such a delusion. You have clearly uttered in the religious Gita text " That your present in all living beings" then why do we still see our own fellow brothers as different. The above text is the gist of the religion but people tend to follow the various culture such as marriage culture, which is valueless without understanding the gist of the religion. Is it important to marry the same cast or ethnic group ?? Can marrying a guy from the same cast or ethnic group ensure the happiness in marriage?? Well, i really don't agree with this cast or ethnic group practice.I feel so sadden with the kind of practice till today. This is because, i know that in the eyes of God we are all equal. If your so conscious of these culture or traditional practices , i suggest maybe it is time for you to take a visit to the crematorium. You would notice that after the cremation, the body that was once a big deal had reduced to just ashes.
I am not going against culture or traditional practices. However, i am asking the readers not to blindly follow things and look at the inner meanings of those practices . Would you prefer marrying your child to the same ethnic Indian group or would you prefer she marrying a sincere guy that would really take care of her ? Ask you self this questions before further blinding the next generation with such a culture or traditional practice.
Well, many of you will probably feel that i am upset with her , well why should i be ? ... I know that it really hurts but think of it this way, she had enlighten me and probably all of you reading regarding the above matter. Life is temporary, you will only meet a few, learn the important things from them, and guide your self back to Him.
God bless you
Posts
7 comments:
It's life, there is ups and down and we need to handle it.
I can't explain how cast system came about and which stupid idiot started it. This is the dumbest thing i've heard in my life. My parents are married across race, i don't understand why two ppl can be forced to do ohterwise because of such petty differences.
Alilan, just think that she's not the right one yet. You still have time man, we're only 25. I don't sit and pray as much as you, do meditation and stuff. Infact i don't believe in religion, i believe in god. I don't know if he's watching over us, but i know the will eventually see the good people and give them what's rightfully theirs. So, just keep on doing the good you do and most importantly keep yourself occupied, happy and improving.
There are many girls around. The kinda girl you're looking for i'm sure there are at least a dozen. What you need to do is to open your social connection and be successful enough for them not to be able to reject you. They might not realize this, the girls. But a man with wealth and success is alway on the higher side.
Just work on yourself, love will come when you least expect it
Hi ahilan,. sorry to hear your story.. indeed its not a curse my friend..its the fact.. =)
I wont say that i sympathize for you, rather im glad that you actually learned something from it… just looking at the positive side of the whole picture..
I finally understood and accepted this painful truth few months back .. thought of sharing my views with you..
“I realize that everyone you love will either reject you at 1st, or accept you for a certain period of time and then eventually leave u alone & die one day.” Like it or not.. we are going to be left alone someday.. I wont call this a curse, indeed it’s a painful fact .. and of course,to overcome this problem.. im not asking you or any1 else to remain single fearing of this .. but then, I would rather say,
Life is beautiful,lets face it, love it ,live it and leave it with dignity…
Its true that most of the time what we deserve is much better than what we desire.. and good things never comes easily.. but when the time is right, it will eventually come to you.. =)
Coming back to the topic, i would say to build a relationship, "sincerity" and "love" should be given the most importance.. the moment sincerity and love fails, then there is no point accepting or keeping a relationship..
but then, if u say caste was the reason for rejection.. then, one thing is ..probably what you said earlier was right ; the girl would definitely love her parents a lot coz she is considering her parents feelings despite her future..evnthough what her family feels sounds very outdated to me.. this is what I personally feel..sorry if it hurts any1’s feelings..but than thats the truth.. what ever said this girl needs to know whats best for her..she need to decide for self.. and how sure is she that a man of the same caste would definately take good care of her.. caste alone can nvr be a measure for a guaranteed happy life.. only a man who trusts her and loves her for who she is can be a good soulmate …If anyone doesn’t agree with me, just want to say 1 thing to u my friend..we may be of different race or caste, but we must always remember onething, whether you are an indian, telegu, malyalee, Ceylonese, muslim, Chinese ,European or even a negro.. the colour of our blood is still the same... therefore, rather than rejecting others over our differences, lets look for the similarities that nature has bestow in us and cherish the beauty behind it…
Then life would indeed be more beautiful and the world would be a much happier place to live in..
Ahilan, as u mention before, its true that in life we meet people for many reason, every single person we meet is a teacher sent by God to teach us something.. so, lets learn what ever needed to be learned without expecting anything in return from our teachers and move on with the flow ..( a great teaching from the gita and myself ) ..I realized that the moment we decide to stop this flow , thats when the problem starts..
You may ask, then when am I going to find the love of my life, if i keep moving on ? when u will find the person, no 1 knows... but all I can say is, when the time comes, u will definitely find the person..
Therefore ,nobody deserves your tears my friend, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.”
So,Keep the fingers cross and continue doing your good work..
God bless..
=)
hi thre !
ws goin thru ur blog 2day...n kinda readin ur posts 4da past week...n i kinda tink dat u contadictin urself, man....remembr, u said in ur blog 'let's rewind love'...u sd dat she merely wanz 2b frenz earlier wen u started gettin 2noe her bettr...well, sh sounded quite a sensible n down-to-earth-who-noes-her-mind, wen sh agreed 2b ur fren...im tinkin dat probably sh didnt wanna cnfused n complicate her life rite dat moment wit declarartion of luv....sounds practical 2me rite??
so, i find it hard 2beliv dat da exact same gal whom u praised earlier in ur posts...has rejected u cz of an impractical thing as caste...could it be dat sh really is not prepared for ur kind of realtionship rite now...wit u proposin bt ur undyin luv, n tokin of marriage to the poor gal...
i guess, man, u frightened her off...hell, if im a gal like her, i could probably run to china da moment u toklike dat...hehe...xoffence...
ur like 25, rite...da road is stil far, far too long for u, bro...dun worry. tink u wil find da one preety soon one dy...arent v al lukin for da same kinda gal afta our heart....m guessin u would find her preety soon...gud luck in da huntin process...
well, dear anonymous and all my friends, first of all thanks for the comments. I had never blamed her per say for anything. I didn't force or ask her for marriage in the first place. I just asked her to be my special friend. Well she is a smart gal, she had never thought of herself and had always thought of me and my feelings.That is the reason she said told me the truth. She had lowered the pride of her family's believes to make me understand y this is not possible. Such a great character, and a loyal child to her parents needs and wants.The beautiful part in her she had never given me false hopes at all.
However i wrote this post not as a reaction to her rejection. But i wrote it to tell the world, that we are actually suffering a huge set back by considering cast when it comes to marriage. Great saints had try to remove this barrier but because of the mind of people this barrier is still visible. We must take great steps to stop this in our generation and our children's generation. How can u reject someone for something he doesn't have control on ??
Well if you really want to know how i feel, if she must marry a really good guy coz if u really love a gal, who ever she marries you want her to be happy. As for me, i will go on life, with the believe that god will always be my leaning shoulder.
god bless all
Dear Anonymous,
I am just wondering how did u know my age? Which is a surprise to me. Good comment ... i ll keep that in mind
i think in life you are constantly evolving...and that means you wants, needs, and desires are bound to change in time and in line with the situation. you are bound to come across a lot of ppl and each of them are gonna be occupying that little moments in your life as "soulmates" and maybe this was just another that got away....and if it was truly meant to be, it would surely bounce back to you.
i'd say....keep your head up, do not fret...the caste excuse honestly doesnt exactly ring a serious matter since intercaste marriages are the norm these days. maybe she just wasnt ready to take such a leap with you. enjoy and nurture the friendship and be grateful you've come across such a worthy person, coz that is indeed a rarity these days.
and remember in the words of swami vivekananda.....god never always gives us what we want, he always gives us what we need.
enjoy the ride call life! dont go searching for love, let it come to you.
Post a Comment